


Hit the Road

by jane_x80



Series: Yellow Brick Road [3]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Break Up, Domestic Violence, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-17 13:30:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8145812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jane_x80/pseuds/jane_x80
Summary: Tony tries to break up again, but like the song says, breaking up is hard to do.Another prequel to Yellow Brick Road, but takes place after End of the Road.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know - I was working on the Big Bang story and I'm at the touchy feely happy part but the fact that the new season of NCIS started with no Tony DiNozzo made me sad and melancholy. Even though I'm happy Tony left - he was so obviously unhappy - I hated what TPTB did with his send off, and I hated that they never resolved the coldness and distance between Tony and Gibbs in s13. I needed a break from trying to force the happy place, so this is what came out instead.
> 
> Hopefully once this is written and off my chest I'll be able to go back to the Big Bang and write a proper happy touchy feely part.

Tony jerked awake almost violently, finding himself in a warm bed, spooned from behind. One strong arm was under him and hooked securely around his chest and another was slung over his side and belly. He could feel muscled, hairy legs flush up against the back of his legs, and when he wiggled in his attempts to get free, the man behind him sighed and pulled him even closer, rubbing his softened dick against his ass in his sleep.

 

Tony sighed, his heart suddenly pounding as he recalled the events leading up to this. He was weak and he was a user of people. Plain and simple. He couldn’t even manage to break up with this man without ending up in his bed. Again.

 

Why couldn’t he just love this man the way he deserved to be loved? He was wonderful. He was strong, kind, patient, loving. He could be forceful and demanding – Tony didn’t kid himself, he knew he needed a firm hand sometimes. And this man was the perfect balance, able to be firm without stifling Tony’s need to be independent and whimsical, without taking away who he was as a person or undermining his competency at work.

 

And more importantly, the man loved him. Loved him, Anthony DiNozzo Jr., who had so many flaws and so many issues, and so much fucking baggage that a freight train would be hard pressed to transport it all around. And yet, this man loved him.

 

Even now, after Tony had broken up with him – yet again – the man still held him as if he was the most precious thing in the world. As if Tony was the most important thing in the world to him.

 

It just wasn’t fair, Tony thought, tears welling in his eyes. He would have thought that after all these years of nothing but disappointment in every personal relationship that he’d ever had, that Tony would have accepted that life wasn’t fair and moved on. But no. Life had to up the ante and make everything hurt just a little bit more, make everything that much shittier for everyone. Because now, Tony had dragged this man, this amazing, perfect, wonderful man down into the shithole that his life was, with him.

 

For a long moment, Tony gave into the crushing pressure gripping his heart. He buried his face in the pillow and began sobbing in silence, tears soaking the pillow, shoulders shaking. But then the arms tightened around him and he felt the man nuzzling the back of his head, arms tightening around him, the hand caressing his belly in a soothing motion.

 

“Shhh,” he whispered sleepily in Tony’s ear, his husky voice doing things to Tony, making him shudder and stifle a moan. “I’ve got you, baby. Everything will be all right. We’ll be OK.”

 

Tony held his breath, trying to stop his sobs, wishing the words were the truth, but tears kept falling from his eyes. He was leaving this man, even though the man was fighting to keep him. Maybe because of it, he thought. Nobody deserved to be in a one-sided relationship and he had to get out before he took even more advantage of this man.

 

“It’s gonna be OK, baby,” the man continued to soothe him. “I promise.”

 

Tony nodded, remaining as silent and still as he could until the man’s breath evened out and he fell back to sleep. Gradually Tony stemmed the tide of tears and regained control of his breathing, taking deep, shuddering breaths until he was breathing normally again.

 

Life was shit, and then you got shat upon, Tony told himself tiredly. He sighed. He was exhausted. Overcome with a bone-deep weariness that wasn’t going to change anytime soon. This was supposed to be a casual thing. Something fun for the both of them. But now it had gotten so serious and so complicated so quickly. Tony had never pretended to be anything other than fling material. He hadn’t led the man on. But yet, here he was, breaking the man’s heart, trying yet again to do the right thing and let him go. Stop hurting the man with his own stupid weaknesses.

 

And that was how he found himself lying in the man’s arms, taking comfort from him even though he’d torn the man’s heart into little pieces, and his ass was pleasantly sore from the break up sex that they’d indulged in after their screaming match.

 

Their screaming match. Echoes of it resounded in his head.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_“I know you love me, Tony. I know you do!”_

_“Not the way you love me, goddammit. Not the way you deserve to be loved!”_

_“It’ll come. Give it time. You’ll love me one day!”_

_“Do you even hear yourself? That’s not how things work and you know it!”_

_“It doesn’t have to end this way, Tony. Please!”_

_“We’re done, man! It’s over! I’ve let this go too far. You know this was never supposed to be a serious relationship. You knew all along I’m just a good time guy. I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m not looking for permanence. You were **never** supposed to fall in love with me. I told you way in the beginning I’m not looking for love and that that isn’t in the cards for me!”_

_“Give me a chance. Give me a real chance!”_

_“No. We’re done. I’m leaving,” Tony put the key that the man had tried to give him on the chest of drawers and glared at him. “You know this is the right thing for us both. I **don’t** love you.”_

_“You do! At least a little bit.”_

_“That’s **not** **enough**!” Tony roared. “You shouldn’t have to settle for ‘at least a little bit’ of love!”_

_“Then love me the way you want to!” The man picked up his lamp and threw it into the wall, the resounding crash satisfying to both men._

_“I **can’t**!” Tony wailed. “I wish to god I could. I want to love you. But I don’t. And it’s time for me to step away before this thing with us becomes even more unhealthy for you.”_

_“Don’t leave me, Tony. Please. I love you.”_

_Tony’s breath hitched. “I know,” he whispered. “It’s why I have to leave.”_

_“ **Why** are you so fucking afraid of love?”_

_“I’m not afraid of love! What I am is not in love with **you**!”_

_“But this is enough for me. I’m not asking you to love me back. But you don’t have to walk away.”_

_“Fuck it. I’m not having this fucking conversation with you again, Derek. I can’t keep telling you the same goddamned things over and over and over again. You and me are done. You hear me? I’m leaving now.” Tony turned away, heading to the door._

_“Tony!” the ex-Green Beret tackled him and pinned him face-first against the wall. “You can’t just walk out on me.”_

_“I have to,” Tony yelled, struggling to free himself, not wanting to break out any of his own moves. They were both too emotional for any physical altercations to end in anything but the both of them in the hospital._

_“Is there someone else?”_

_Tony’s arm was wrenched behind his back and he grunted with pain._

_“For the millionth time, there is **no-fucking-one** else! This was supposed to be casual and fun. Love has no place here.”_

_“There was Zoe!”_

_“You knew about her the whole time. We agreed to have an open relationship. Besides, it’s been over between Zoe and me for months! There’s no one else.”_

_“Tony!”_

_“Let me go, Derek!”_

_“No! You listen to me, all right? You think you don’t deserve to be loved. But you do. You **do** , Tony,” Derek growled in his ear, even as he twisted Tony’s arm even further behind his back and pressed his face hard against the wall. “I fell in love with you the moment we met. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”_

_“No I’m **not**.”_

_“You **are**. You hold us all at arm’s length. You’re scared to get involved. You’ve been hurt, I get it. I really do. Nobody has three ex-wives without putting themselves out there so believe me, I get it. But whoever’s hurt you and keeps hurting you and made you so afraid, and made you think you’re unworthy, they’re all fucking assholes. If I ever meet your father, I’m going to break both his legs for all the hurt he’s caused you. But you can’t just walk away from this. You can’t just walk away from me. From us. We have **something**. We can have something really beautiful, Tony. If you stick around and help build this with me. If you give it a chance. If you give me a chance.”_

_“I **can’t**!” Tony screamed. “I don’t know how many times I have to say this but I am not in love with you!”_

_Derek released Tony roughly, smooshing his face into the wall as he walked away. “You’re a fucking coward,” he said venomously._

_Tony ignored him, straightened his shirt and strode to the bedroom door, refusing to look at his soon-to-be ex-boyfriend._

_“You’d rather throw what we have away because of some pipe dream!” Derek yelled at him._

_Tony gasped and spun, green eyes wide with shock._

_“It’s because you’re in love with this-this **Gibbs** person, and you can’t let go of that. Whoever he is, he’s who you think about, and who you fantasize about, and who you think you’re in love with. You’d rather go lie in your lonely bed, dreaming of Gibbs instead of taking a chance, staying here with me. Even though I’m real. And **I love you**. He **doesn’t**. I’m here and he’s not. But that’s what scares you. You’ve had this dream of being with Gibbs so long that you can’t let go of it, even when real love slaps you in the face.”_

_Tony strode over and decked him, a roundhouse to the head. Derek wheezed as he stood back up, lip bleeding, his cock hardening at the sight of Tony looming over him, red faced, fists clenched tightly, breathing hard._

_“I said his name in my sleep **one** time,” Tony growled._

_“One time that I told you about. You say his name in your sleep almost every night.”_

_Tony’s eyes widened and he gasped in shock. And suddenly all the fight went out of him as he realized what he’d just done. His bottom lip began wobbling despite his attempts to stop it._

_“I’m no good for you,” he whispered, laying a trembling hand on Derek’s cheek, fingering his split lip, wiping the blood away with his thumb. “I just punched you in the face.”_

_“I practically pounded your head into that wall,” Derek shrugged, seeing the bruise forming on Tony’s cheek from his move to pin him against the wall._

_“Doesn’t make what I did right.”_

_“Listen to me, Tony. Give us a chance. Give me a real chance. Please.”_

_Tony sighed, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. His full bottom lip continued to wobble. He shook his head with finality. “I have to go,” he said quietly. “I’m moving away. Probably to Spain.”_

_“ **What**?!?”_

_“My Director offered me a new position. A promotion. In Europe. So we’re done here either way. Let me do this right, Derek. You’ve been good to me and you don’t deserve any more pain. I wish I could love you. I really do,” Tony’s words came out as a deadened monotone. “It’s over. I’m leaving DC. I don’t even do relationships, never mind long distance ones. So. Goodbye, Derek.”_

_Tony trudged to the door and swung it open before it was slammed shut. Derek spun him so they were face to face and pushed him against the wall again, this time keeping one hand behind his head, and one behind his back, cushioning him as they crashed into the wall. Tony’s breath expelled in a quiet ‘oof’ and Derek pushed his face into Tony’s, his body in between Tony’s legs._

_“No, Tony. You can’t just run away from this.”_

_“I’m not,” Tony said softly. “You know work’s not my happy place anymore. I’m being edged out by my Boss and everyone knows it. I’ve turned down plenty of promotions before because I thought my team was my family. But they’re not. So I have to leave. This Spain thing is good. It’ll be a good thing for me. A good career move and a good change. It’s something I need. It’s also something I’d be great at it.”_

_“You’d be great at anything, Tony. They don’t appreciate you at NCIS.”_

_The younger man sighed and put his forehead on the ex-Green Beret’s, closing his eyes and putting his hand on his cheek. “We’re over, Derek. There was never really an us in the first place.”_

_“When do you leave?”_

_“Probably in a couple of months.”_

_“Give me these two months to make you see things my way.”_

_“Derek…”_

_“Please,” Derek begged, before he kissed Tony’s lips._

_Groaning, Tony opened his mouth and allowed Derek to kiss him thoroughly, and before he knew it, they were devouring each other’s mouths, and he had his legs wrapped around Derek’s waist, Derek’s strong arms holding him securely as they ground their hard cocks against each other. It was such a turn on for Tony when Derek spun, pushing them away from the wall, and just fucking carried him to the bed. Tony was no lightweight but Derek, despite being ten years older than him, had kept himself in shape. He was as fit as he had been at the peak of his career as a Green Beret. He could pick up and throw Tony around without any trouble._

_Derek lowered him onto the bed and ripped his shirt open, buttons flying everywhere, as he sucked and nipped at his neck, leaving visible marks that would stay for days. They were naked and Derek balls-deep inside him in record time, pounding him into the mattress, the only sounds that of flesh slapping against flesh, and their grunts, growls, and moans. The sex was vicious and quick, both men coming hard, Derek collapsing on the younger man, gasping for breath. Finally, he climbed off Tony, disposed of the condom, and disappeared into the bathroom, returning with a warm, wet, washcloth which he used to gently clean the already-sleeping Tony off._

_He slid the covers out from under his (ex?) boyfriend, pulled them up securely – Tony got cold easily – and slipped into bed, spooning him. He sighed, kissing the back of Tony’s neck gently._

_“This is really it, Derek,” Tony whispered. “We’re over.”_

_“Hush now. We’ll talk more in the morning.”_

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

Tony carefully wriggled out of Derek’s arms, standing over the bed and gazing down at the sleeping form. One last look at the man who loved him. There was no way he was staying until morning so they could just fight about breaking up again. They were done. He dressed in the dark, found his shoes and carried them out of the bedroom, padding downstairs in silence. Awkwardly, he kneaded his shoulder and elbow, still aching from being wrenched earlier.

 

“Tony?”

 

Tony jumped, and turned to see Lauren, the younger of Derek’s daughters, standing in the doorway of the kitchen. She was dressed in a camisole, pajama pants, and pink fuzzy bunny slippers, holding a cup of tea.

 

“Want some tea?” she offered.

 

“Uhm, thanks. But, you know, I have to get going,” Tony stammered, feeling his pockets and holster. Gun – check, badge – check, wallet – check, but no phone or keys. He craned his neck, looking around for his keys and his phone.

 

“Phone and keys are on the kitchen table,” Lauren said helpfully.

 

“ _Shit_ ,” Tony growled, realizing that he’d been away from his phone for hours, arguably the biggest transgression in his Boss’s book. He’d meant to swing by, break up with Derek for the third and last time, and go straight home. He hadn’t meant to stay for hours.

 

“No missed calls. I peeked,” Lauren told him quietly. She knew about his demanding job and his demanding boss and his unhealthy attachment to his phone.

 

Tony gave her a weak grin as he went into the kitchen and picked up his phone, double checking it – no missed calls, as Lauren said. He didn’t need his Boss crawling up his ass about Rule 3 and being out of reach tonight.

 

“Here,” Lauren handed him a steaming cup with a teabag in it. “Sit. I don’t know what my dad did but you look like the Hulk had his way with your shirt.”

 

Tony looked down and blushed, realizing that his shirt was gaping open, exposing his chest and abs. He’d forgotten that Derek had ripped his shirt. He hadn’t bothered trying to button it up in the dark, figuring he could fix it once he was out of Derek’s bedroom.

 

Lauren smiled at him. “I’ve seen naked men before, Tony,” she teased him. Lauren was nineteen, a sophomore at Georgetown, living at home with her father to keep her expenses down. Tony knew that she had an active social life that included a healthy sex life. She was gorgeous – with her father’s piercing blue eyes and long blonde hair, she looked like an angel. But Derek had been adamant that both his daughters be competent at defending themselves, and they were both involved in martial arts and were crack shots. Lauren looked him up and down admiringly. “But I do see why Dad likes to keep you covered and all to himself.”

 

“ _Lauren_!” Tony collapsed in a chair, rubbing his eyes.

 

“So. Did you really break up with my dad tonight?”

 

Tony stared at the nineteen year old, feeling like a deer in headlights, struggling for a proper reaction. Finally he groaned and buried his face in his hands. “Yep.”

 

“Again?”

 

“Third time’s the charm, right?” Tony gave her the ghost of a smile.

 

“I couldn’t help but hear you guys… arguing tonight.”

 

Tony groaned again, ears turning pink at the thought of Derek’s daughter hearing their godawful fight.

 

“Sounded really bad, Tony. I thought I was going to have to call the cops.”

 

“Yeah,” Tony pursed his lips. “Another reason for us to break up. We’d be beating each other up in another month or two. For real.”

 

Lauren touched Tony’s still-throbbing face. “Looks like he might have actually beat you up tonight. For real.”

 

“Eh. I punched him in the face afterwards.”

 

“Tony!”

 

“I know,” Tony said, subdued. “I can’t believe I did it. But it’s OK. I’m leaving DC. My Director offered me a promotion. Requires a move to Spain.”

 

“Wow! That’s exciting!”

 

Tony shrugged, a small smile breaking through. “Kind of, yeah.”

 

“Congrats, dude.”

 

“Thanks.” His heart lightened a little. Lauren was the first person to actually congratulate him on the promotion. Not that he’d told anyone other than Derek and now his daughter. God, when did his life get so small? He didn’t even talk to his frat brothers as much anymore.

 

“And you deciding to move away has nothing to do with my dad?”

 

“No,” Tony sighed. “No, it’s not because of your dad. I’m moving because I can’t stay where I am at work. It’s become untenable. And unbearable. But your dad. You know he deserves someone a whole lot better than me, Lauren. I’m no good for him. And I’ve told him that.”

 

“I know. I heard you guys tonight, remember? Including the stuff after the fight. Remind me to invent brain bleach.”

 

“You couldn’t have just plugged your earbuds in or something?” Tony grumbled.

 

“I was concerned,” Lauren said quietly. “In case I needed to intervene. If you guys started beating the crap out of each other.”

 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Tony swore as his face reddened in embarrassment.

 

“I know you never pretended to be anything more,” Lauren said softly. “You never lied to him. Even I know that.”

 

Tony sighed. “And yet, he’s still the one who’s hurt in all of this.”

 

“He’s not the only one.” Lauren gave him a sharp, concerned look.

 

“I’m fine,” Tony brushed her off.

 

“No you’re not, Tony. Maybe Dad isn’t the man for you, but you’re in desperate need of someone.”

 

“I _don’t_ need anyone.”

 

“Not even this Gibbs guy?”

 

“For fuck’s sake.” Tony chugged his tea, grabbed his keys and phone and looked around for his jacket, trying to hold his shirt closed, mumbling under his breath about soundproofing rooms for his next argument.

 

“Hey,” Lauren put a hand on his arm, handing him his jacket. “You’re a nice guy. You deserve to be happy. My dad’s not wrong about that. Even when I first met you, I could tell that you really don’t see yourself the way others see you. Give it some thought. If you can let go of this Gibbs guy, whoever he is, maybe you can find room in your heart for my dad. Cause he really does love you.”

 

Tony’s eyes welled with tears again. “I _know_ ,” he growled. “I don’t know how it happened, but it wasn’t supposed to happen. I didn’t try to make it happen. I’m just good for sex and laughs. I _told_ him that from the very beginning.”

 

To his surprise, Lauren pulled him into a long, tight hug. He stared at her in confusion when she finally pulled away.

 

“You looked like you needed it,” she said, shrugging. “You look like someone who’s lived his life with too few hugs.”

 

“You know I just broke up with your dad, right?” he frowned. “You’re supposed to hate me.”

 

“I do, a little,” Lauren nodded. “But you never lied to Dad. Never pretended you wanted more.”

 

“He gave me a key to your house!” Tony hissed. “What the hell kind of move is that when someone’s breaking up with you?”

 

“He’s desperate. He knows a good thing when he sees it. And you guys are good together when you’re just being yourself and not this scared, abused, puppy.”

 

Tony’s mouth fell open. “I’m not a… What the fuck d’you mean…. Fuck! You’re _all_ fucking crazy.”

 

Lauren laughed softly and patted Tony’s arm. “Don’t answer the next time he calls. Maybe this time the break up will take.”

 

Tony groaned.

 

“I know you guys are over but you know you can call Cassie and me, right?” Cassie was Derek’s older daughter, who was in grad school at Johns Hopkins. “If you need to talk, you can call us. Dad has a whole support system, tons of people he can turn to, but I don’t think you do.”

 

Tony inhaled sharply, ready to protest but instead of coming up with words, to his surprise and mortification, he began sobbing again. Lauren pulled him into her arms, rubbing his back as he wept. He desperately tried to pull himself together but Lauren’s fingers gently patting him brought on a fresh wave of tears. Finally he straightened, swiping angrily at his eyes.

 

“You do love Dad a little,” Lauren whispered.

 

“It’s not enough,” Tony whispered back, breath hitching with every word. “He deserves someone who really loves him. And I don’t. Not like that.”

 

“Are you sure about that?”

 

Tony nodded. His eyes were swollen and red, and miserable, but the truth shone through.

 

“So you really love this Gibbs guy, huh?”

 

He nodded again, sniffling.

 

“And he doesn’t love you?”

 

Tony swallowed and knuckled away the tears that kept spilling down his cheeks. He shook his head.

 

“You’re such an awesome guy. How can he _not_ love you?” Lauren asked, outraged.

 

Tony shrugged.

 

“Does he even know how you feel?”

 

Tony shook his head again.

 

“You ever gonna tell him?”

 

“He’s straight,” Tony said hoarsely.

 

“Well, _shit_ ,” Lauren growled.

 

“Story of my life,” Tony sighed. “So because of that, I can’t be anything to anyone else, other than someone to have fun with. I don’t do serious for a reason.”

 

Lauren nodded sagely. “You’ve been in love with this dude for a long time then?”

 

“Yeah. Fuck. Almost as long as you’ve been alive.”

 

“Your life really is shit.”

 

Tony chuckled. “Yep. I know. And now I’ve made your dad’s life shit, too.”

 

“We’ll take care of him. You take care of yourself.”

 

“I’m good at that.” Tony sniffed one last time, shrugged his jacket on and put his phone and keys in his pockets. “I gotta go. Tell Cassie hey for me. And I’m really sorry things got so messy with your dad.”

 

“You get all your stuff?” Lauren knew that Tony had been keeping some of his clothes in her dad’s closet.

 

“Got that the last time we broke up,” Tony snorted derisively, remembering that disaster of a break up.

 

Lauren nodded. “Should I have Dad send you a check for that shirt he ruined? Looks expensive.”

 

Tony shook his head. “Clean break this time. Not answering his calls or texts.”

 

Lauren sighed. “Sure you can’t give Dad another chance?”

 

“I’ll just hurt him more, Lauren. He doesn’t deserve that. I’m a fucking mess and he should stay away from me.”

 

“You call me or Cassie if you need to talk, OK?” Lauren said kindly. “We won’t tell Dad.”

 

Tony nodded. “You girls are way too nice. You’re all just too fucking nice. Makes it harder.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I’m just taking advantage of you. And your dad.”

 

“You’re way too hard on yourself, Tony.”

 

Tony grunted. “Bye, Lauren. Take care of your dad. I’m sorry for… you know… everything.” Tony scrambled, leaving the house in his bare feet, still carrying his shoes.

 

Lauren sighed, scrubbed her face, and picked up her phone. It might be 3 AM but it was time for her and Cassie to rally around and support their father. She hoped that Tony would be OK. For a big tough federal agent, he really was the sweetest guy. He hid everything under his brash, outgoing personality and caustic wit. But she and Cassie had both seen it, how sweet Tony was with their dad. How sweet he was with both her and Cassie. It was a crying shame Tony and her dad couldn’t work things out.

 

Both she and Cassie had actually liked Tony and they rarely liked any of their dad’s love interests. He was definitely easy on the eye for guy in his forties, and he and their dad had been such a power couple and drew eyes whenever they went out together – both of them strong, masculine men. Lauren was used to her friends and her friends’ moms being openly interested in her father, but it had definitely been something new for her when they started being interested in her dad _and_ his boyfriend Tony.

 

And Tony had a real personality, too, not just looks. He was really fun when they organized movie nights, he was a fount of knowledge about just about every movie ever made, including foreign movies. He’d come across her watching a Bollywood movie late one night as he was sneaking out of the house – one of his odd habits was that he never stayed the whole night in their dad’s bed and since Lauren lived at home, she knew this to be true. She and Tony had ended up watching the rest of the movie together, and Tony had actually admitted to watching the movie once before and swearing her to secrecy about it. It would bring down his street cred, he’d told her, if it became public knowledge that he even watched movies that required subtitles.

 

But yeah, Tony had talked to her and her sister like they were real people. Most of their dad’s past boyfriends tended to try to connect with them in order to curry favor with their dad. Tony seemed to just see them as their own persons and talked to them pretty candidly about things. Cassie, who was doing her masters in Criminology, had had many conversations with him about his vast experience in law enforcement – both in regular police departments and as a federal agent. It really was a shame he was in love with someone else.

 

She knew Tony wouldn’t ever reach out to her or Cassie for help, so she hoped he would be OK. Dad had fallen hard for him and had made it really difficult for them to break up. Tony really did look like a kicked puppy tonight. And the bruise on his face. That her dad had caused.

 

She sighed. Nobody should be in a relationship that had that kind of violence in it, and her dad had never ever done anything like this, not to her knowledge. Tony had just gotten under his skin. A lot.

 

She waited for her sister to answer the phone. They would have to be there for their father, to help him through the fallout.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

After two days of Tony ignoring calls, texts and deleting voicemail messages from Derek without listening to any of them, Tony walked in to work and found a huge vase of flowers on his desk. Red roses, red chrysanthemums, purple hyacinths, mixed in with daisies and dandelions. An eclectic mix. Bishop, McGee, Abby and even Ducky were admiring the bouquet.

 

“Who’s D?” McGee asked, brandishing the card in Tony’s face.

 

“Anthony, my dear boy, did you know that your admirer is trying to give you a message just with the flowers?” Ducky said. “Red roses and red chrysanthemums mean that she loves you. The daisies signify loyal love, and dandelions are for faithfulness. The purple hyacinth is an interesting one, as it signifies an apology and a plea for forgiveness.”

 

“Probably why the card says, ‘Baby, I’m sorry. Love, D.’” McGee grinned, gleeful at the thought of teasing Tony about his apparent love life. “Who’d you con into falling in love with you, Tony? Who calls you ‘Baby’, Tony?”

 

Tony pursed his lips. He dropped his backpack, stowed his gun and badge in his drawer and frowned at the flowers, silently chewing on his bottom lip.

 

“Hey, everything OK?” Abby put an arm around him.

 

Tony grunted. “Bishop, go take these to HR and give them to Delores. She loves hyacinths.”

 

“Who’s D, _Baby_?” McGee waved the card in front of him.

 

“Nobody,” Tony answered curtly. Then he walked away and disappeared into the stairwell. The team stared at each other in surprise.

 

“Seriously, who’s D?” Abby frowned. “Has Tony been seeing someone?”

 

“Go take the flowers to Ms Bromstead in HR,” McGee hissed at Bishop, realizing that Tony hadn’t even touched the flowers or the card that came with it. Whoever this D was, it was really upsetting the man. He immediately regretted his aggressive teasing. Tony had been quiet the past few days. He should have guessed that Tony was having personal issues but the man had always been hard to read. “Let’s not have this still here when he comes back.”

 

“McGee? Did you know Tony was seeing someone?” Abby asked, eyes wide with concern.

 

“Not since Zoe, no.”

 

“What the hell is going on around here?” Gibbs barked, arriving in the bullpen, ubiquitous cup of coffee in his hand.

 

“Nothing,” McGee muttered, going back to his desk.

 

Bishop whisked the flowers away and McGee pocketed the card. Abby and Ducky returned to Forensics and Autopsy, respectively. When Tony returned with coffee for everyone, they just got to work and there was no more talk of mysterious flowers and secret admirers, although Tony was quiet all day, resolutely ignoring the text messages and phone calls that he kept receiving.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I turned to [Hands to Heaven](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KC5InWPjtL8) by Breathe for this depressing story. Ignore the very 80s video ;). I loved this song when I was a young preteen/teenager (my brother bought a cassette tape of it which we played in the car incessantly).
> 
> Also, I didn't just make things up with the whole flowers and what they mean. I did the responsible thing and researched it for about 3 minutes on the internet. Check out the [website I used](http://aggie-horticulture.tamu.edu/archives/parsons/publications/flowers/flowers.html). I am such an idiot when it comes to flowers, I had to google hyacinths to see what they looked like. LOL
> 
> I will hopefully try to find myself in the right mindset to finish my big bang story (I know I need to quit whining about it and just go finish it already). I just need to find my happy place again. Thanks to Darby who helped me look at things differently, which should hopefully fix my mindset and help me find my happy place again.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this depressing story. :)
> 
> -j  
> xo


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